


Blood, Choice, Destiny

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Broken Edge AUs [17]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Communication, Gen, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, character death is padme, indirect grandfather-grandson relationship, redeemed Snoke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 10:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11401104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: In which Han, Luke and Leia telling Ben about Vader makes all the difference.





	Blood, Choice, Destiny

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lisalicious](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisalicious/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I own nothing. 
> 
> Author's Notes: Based on a reaction Lisalicious had to The Broken Edge where she wanted Han and Leia to tell Ben about Vader. I ran the idea past her and she liked it. Lisalicious, I definitely hope you like the fic. :)

_Age four_ :

When Ben's four years old and picks up that worry from Uncle Luke, about his grandfather, he asks about his grandfather after Uncle Luke’s done giving him a talk about his reading minds. Ben’s hesitant to do so, of course, he feels embarrassed about it.

Uncle Luke pauses. Then, “Your grandfather was a complicated man. He did a lot of evil in his lifetime, but also a lot of good. People can be capable of both. It depends on what we choose to act on. That’s who we really are.”

And Ben promises that no matter what happens, he’ll pick the good. He’ll make his uncle proud, and everyone else too.

_Age seven:_

It’s at age seven that they tell him more about his grandfather. They don’t go into too much detail, but Ben knows that his grandfather did bad things. Killed innocent people, for example. Committed torture. Ben knows what torture is -- it’s hurting someone on purpose. Hurting someone on purpose to gain power over them. The most he has at age seven is Jimmy Nichos, who’s still bullying him. His parents have been through something he can’t even fathom. Even imagining his parents in pain...

“But I don’t understand,” he says. “Why would a daddy do that?”

Silence. It’s clear that his parents don’t know how to answer the question.

“Some daddies aren’t made to be daddies,” his daddy says. “We promised to never do anything like that to you, kiddo. And we never will.”

 

_Age thirteen:_

When he’s thirteen is when he sees Artoo’s recordings -- more specifically, the one where his grandfather Force chokes his grandmother. It starts out badly enough after other recordings of happier times -- his grandmother confronting him for killing younglings, his grandfather accusing Obi-Wan of trying to turn her against him.

The conversation gets worse from here, and Ben watches even as his grandfather tries to justify his actions, accuses his grandmother of turning against him even as she starts to cry. And then Obi-Wan disembarks, and it’s there that Vader chokes his grandmother.

Ben feels as if his head’s spinning in that moment even as he watches his grandfather brutalize his grandmother. Watching him reach out with the Force and choke her. He swallows. “Artoo,” he says, “Turn it off.”

Artoo does.

Ben takes a deep breath. “How could he? To his own wife?”

Artoo beeps sadly even as Ben huddles up next to him, taking comfort in his presence.

  
_Age sixteen:_

It’s when he’s sixteen that he realizes that he’s in love with Poe, and he’s terrified. To him, love represents either fighting like with his parents or the whole matter of what his grandfather did to his grandmother. No wonder the Order’s so split down the middle about it; it’s all so complicated. He wonders if his feelings stick out all over him. He wonders if everyone can see them -- that he adores Poe Dameron, and he’s effectively doomed with Vader’s shadow all but hanging over him.

 

_Age twenty:_

When he first starts dating Poe, he can’t help but have nightmares, not only about Thomas, but about his grandfather. In the nightmares, he’s in his grandfather’s shoes, choking his grandmother, who turns into Poe before his eyes. He wakes up, gasping, in a cold sweat, trying not to scream.

It’s after one particularly horrible one that he tells Poe about it. He doesn’t want to hurt him. And yet he can’t tell Poe, not without being filthy, disgusting, unclean...

To his surprise, Poe looks at him not with horror and disgust but with the utmost compassion. “You’re nothing like your grandfather,” he says, “In any way. You are worth at least ten million of that monster.”

And there’s something in Ben that feels as if he’s been relieved of a burden he hasn’t realized was that heavy.

 

_Age twenty-three:_

When Casterfo reveals his mother’s secret on the Holonet, Ben already feels a sort of panic. He’s never told anyone besides Poe. He doesn't know how anyone will handle such an awful secret. Poe’s handled it wonderfully, but everyone else...

Some take the opportunity to turn against him. Master Naris, for example. “I knew it,” he says. “I knew from the moment you were dumped on our doorstep you would bring us grief and more...”

He goes on, eviscerating Ben verbally, shouting at him, and Ben can’t think of a cutting comeback like he usually manages to in these situations. He’s all but immobilized.

To his surprise, Mike speaks up. “Kriff off, Master.”

Master Naris looks at him in shock. He definitely hasn’t expected one of his favorite punching bags to actually speak up against him. “What did you say?”

“Ben’s a good person,” Mike says. “He’s a better man than you could ever be, at least. I don’t see mini-Vader standing here.”

“Then you are a fool.”

Annie speaks up. “Ben’s not his grandfather. What his grandfather did isn’t him. Believe me on this. What his grandfather did only reflects on him, not Ben. Ben didn’t do anything.”

She and Mike move to stand next to him. And then, slowly, other Jedi move to stand next to them.

Master Naris looks speechless. “Do you even know what Vader did?” he says. “He killed younglings. Younglings. And you’re defending his grandspawn?”

“I haven’t killed younglings,” Ben says.

“Well, no, but -- ’’

“Vader’s just a ghost now,” Ben says. “You can let him go.”

It’s when he gets home he tells Poe about what happened, and Poe grins at him. “Way to go, Ben!” he says.

“Thanks.” Ben’s grin dies down to a more serious expression. “I feel a bit sorry for him, actually. He hasn’t learned to cope with his problems, so he’s taking them out on us.”

“Doesn't make it fair.”

“I know. But in the end...I suppose he’s just a broken man. Nothing more.” It’s strange looking at the man who terrorized him throughout his childhood as this, but it’s true. Just a man, nothing more. When you’re an adult, stuff from your childhood seems to shrink. Or grow, but in this case, it’s shrunk. Thank the stars.

  
_Age Twenty-four:_

It’s later, when he’s twenty-four, that Snoke kidnaps him. And from there, Ben realizes the truth. Master Yana is Snoke. The man he trusted has been lying to him the whole time.

And then he learns about what made Snoke who he is. The abuse. The refusal of the Council to help Milara. Many other things. He can’t join Snoke. But maybe there’s another way.

“Come with me,” Ben says. “We can help you.”

“You think the Order can help with Milara? You are wrong.”

“I don’t know. But I can. There is a third option between Light and Dark, isn't there, Snoke? There has to be.”

Ben extends a hand.

Snoke, after a long while, takes it and grasps it. 


End file.
